Lately, there has been an elephant sitting on my heart. It is not sad, or a mean elephant: it is just elephant-sized. A weight.

I remember when I began to accept my Dad’s death last year. I felt like I had just gotten into the bath or taken a sip of perfectly-warm-hot delicious special tea, but only for the tiniest of moments. But it is a window, so that feels good.

I work with a wise man named Mr. Moore. He grew up in Smithville and has been a teacher, assistant principal, principal, and now, counselor. I have learned so much from him and he is the person I am most thankful for this year. Anyway. The other day we were talking and he said that the person who loves us wouldn’t want us to be sad about them passing away. I logically agree, my heart was in disagreement, but I think today we leveled up a bit to understanding.

A week from today is my friend Beth’s birthday; she would have been 44. ❤