Tag Archives: ticks

Lyme Diaries – Hot Showers & Tummy Aches

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I started having symptoms of what I thought was anaplasmosis on Tuesday, June 24th: my half birthday, no less. Turns out it was anaplasmosis and Lyme disease, and I have had a stomachache since that day, every day, without fail. It is becoming frustrating and demoralizing. A monthlong stomachache!

In good news, I followed my doctor’s advice and started to use heat to help with pain and have been taking very, very hot showers. Almost immediately they stop the nerve pain, as if my body gets distracted by the heat from the pain and all the attention goes to it observing, “wow it is hot and that feels good!”.

I woke up at 4am this morning with a stomachache. I also have edema, as of two days ago, which either means the bacteria is causing it, or one of the medicines I am on is causing it. I tried and failed to not take any pain medicine last night, even though I have to say that the pain is much better than it has been.

This is a journey, and a difficult one at that. No one seems to know much and every time I ask they all say, “everyone is different?” and while logically, biologically, I understand that, it is a very annoying thing to say to someone who is just looking for answers as to why her stomach has hurt every day for a month, and why now her legs are swelling so much that squatting down is uncomfortable and feels like I am wearing a pair of tight pants.

My doctor also told me to keep a positive attitude so here goes:

  1. Super thankful for Cody cooking dinner last night. We made polish sausage and cabbage and I wonder if the cabbage has made my tummy upset. But it was so delicious and our first cabbage from the garden!
  2. Super thankful for my devoted doggo, Oscar. He never leaves my side.
  3. Super thankful for my cute and sweet and not stressful job. I could not teach and go through this at the same time, no way.
  4. Maine summer and the garden, even though I can’t go in the sun.
  5. Flowers! Stars! Winds of change! All of the natural processes that go on around me while I wonder when this will feel better.

It is now 5:58 and I am wondering if it is worth it to try to go back to bed, but my stomach says no. I hope you’re well out there and helping me ideate a tiny bazooka for all the ticks.

Lyme Diaries – Weird Thoughts

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This is my fourth week of antibiotics for Lyme disease. It appears that I have chronic Lyme and may have had an infection years ago, or months ago, or who knows, that is now flaring up with all sorts of weird symptoms.

One of the big ones is appetite related. My stomach hurts almost all the time, and so I don’t want to eat. Not wanting to eat oversimplifies the feeling; I think my body is telling me not to eat because I feel so sick. But if I tell it no, and eat food, I feel better.

Here we are in the mind-fuck part of Lyme disease: it is like it is trying to trick you into doing things that aren’t good for you. I know that other diseases and conditions can do this, so it isn’t a huge surprise but also — it is? How can this be caused by a tiny spirochete bacteria named Borellia bugdorferi?

Right now I am drinking water with a splash of bitters in it. It is late on a summer night. My back hurts alot but I am hoping a hot shower will help (learned that trick last night). I am trying to not take anti-nausea medicine as it really messes up my digestion, which is already messed up thanks to antibiotics (doxycycline). My solution? Keep taking the Doxy and start to carve small, life-sized charms of Doxy pills. You gotta laugh.

My husband and I are having issues as he can’t do anything about my illness and so is becoming irritated at its longevity. I keep telling him that it bothers me (probably) more than him, but … I just don’t have any energy for anyone even myself right now, and for that, I feel very bad. I feel that it is a major accomplishment that I get an outfit together (with jewelry!), get some food together and get to work. I also feel accomplished that I am able to fake it at work every day, sort of; I am able to maintain and get things done. I hate to feel this selfish, but when he gets frustrated with it, I either get frustrated back or just get so tired I just kind of shut down.

The mind fuck of it all. What IS Lyme disease? No one knows. So many people have it. How is that possible. When might there be a vaccine? When did life get so complicated? Is our country changing irrevocably? I lost another friend to pancreatic cancer last week; why isn’t there a screening tool for it when so many people die of it so young? This life is so mysterious and makes less sense the more time I hang out here.

Sending love to you – I hope you are all right. Hang in there, baby.

I love this sweet song – I am not a super Taylor Swift fan (don’t tell anyone!), but this one really struck me today.